What We See

Sometimes we see things that seem a little out of place.

If we somebody or some animal in trouble, we will get help. We are not always there to write a citation.


It is 99.9% of our job.

I'm not always in a hurry...

I am not always in a hurry to issue a citation. Sometimes I won't write a ticket at all. But if I am kinda in a hurry, I won't wait for you to wake up, dress in something other than your PJ's nor allow you to comb your hair.

(I waited for this couple to move their cars. No citations issued)

This couple were awesome friendly kind citizens.

If you can't read/understand then...

As the technologies change in parking, we are still left with the question: Can the parking citizen read and understand?

Jim (a business owner) reminded me about a constant in parking issues, the parking citizen's failure to read the sign's. Now this isn't true for all citizen's. I came across a citizen just yesterday who I caught reading the all important parking restriction signs. I complimented the citizen for: A) Being able to read B) Actually reading the restriction sign C) Understanding what the sign said D) All of the above

It was "D." I enjoyed this particular citizen obviously. I always enjoy the citizens who take time out and read my signs.

Now here is the the next issue, we have new kiosk signs and technologies that we are testing. (I posted this picture of technologies still in use in another state..Kentucky) The signs and the way the parking citizens are now asked to pay for in certain areas, has become more complicated.

We "..effin meter maids" are now using technologies to alert us when a vehicle has been at a spot too long. (computerized handheld ticket issuing devices) And we also now have BlackBerry's that alert us if a parking citizen has purchased a temporary parking voucher, with a time limit on it, that has now expired. The citizen has to subscribe for this service in advance. The parking citizen will get an alert when their time is expiring and asks them if the want to pay for more time. The "...effin meter maids" are then alerted again on the their BlackBerry that the parking citizen has re-paid for more time. All of these new technologies are great but... I just want the parking citizen to read the fuckin' signs. Kudos to the ones who can figure out the new technologies andsigns. I fully expect to now get pictures of the "middle finger" sent to our BlackBerry's and or a text with the standard "Fuck You."

Really, I can be nice.

I issued a ticket to an Audi, from an eastern state, about two weeks ago. It was a nice young lady. (I like nice young ladies) Anyway she came up to me as I issued the ticket. I explained that it was for an invalid plate in this state. She did not have a current plate sticker for her state. She understood but thought her father sent her ALL the correct paperwork. I drove off. About 5 minutes later, she had found me on another street. I pulled over and looked at her registration paperwork as she presented it to me. Everything was current but.. I again explained that for her home state, I was fairly sure that they issued plate year tabs, as well as window registrations.

Here is where I get soft and or nice. I said that until I find out from my Supervisor, who will investigate her state's DMV, that I won't issue her a anymore plate tickets. I also said that I don't work in the evenings and that she still could get more plate violations. Several days later I saw her again and she had called her parent's and sure enough, she was missing her sticker. I confirmed that I had found out the same. (That was late last week) On Monday or Tuesday I came across her car and I noticed that it had new (my state's) plates on it. There was also a note in her window addressed to me.."Effin Meter Maid, See I got new plates, have a nice weekend." I told her that I would be on a vacation this coming weekend and someone who is not as wonderful and caring as I, would be assigned to this area and might issue her tickets.

She is another college student in an area that I often patrol in. I figure since I am in this area often, I have to spend a lot of face time talking with the students so they understand what is required from the city in regards to how and where to park. I feel I simply can't just issue tickets and then drive off with their mouths agape. Often the students are from another area and or state and they are very new to parking. Hell, some of them have only been driving a few years.

This particular young lady was very pleased and was aware that I was going above what I would normally do. She said the "N" word. She said I was nice. I told her not to spread any false rumors and or hopes. I told her that if confronted, I will deny that I was ever nice to her, or anyone. (with a smile)

The rest of you, don't get any idea's.

No Tissue's

So last week I was enforcing around a fairly large college campus..(they have their own police but the streets are enforced by the city) I was issuing a ticket to a vehicle that was parked too long. Max is 1 hour. As the ticket was printing a young lady came up to me and was pleading with me not to give her a ticket. As I always say, " I can't..once I start I have to finish." (Note: We use hand held computers and they lock when we enter the license plates) As I was looking down at my printer I heard some sobbing..I looked at the young female citizen and she had tears in her eyes. Sad she was..she said she could not afford it and was pleading with me. I was slightly taken aback..since it has been a year since I made a citizen cry over a $25 ticket. Alas, a job is a job and I issued the ticket.

This past Monday, same area, I issued a ticket to a young man who became very angry. He didn't cry but he did call me every name he could think of. For a college student, as he claimed he was one, I found his vocabulary to be quite limited. Oh, and he kept calling me "Dude." "Dude, don't give me that ticket. Dude, I wasn't there that long. Dude, don't be a fucking' ass." I gave him my actual name and then handed him the ticket and then drove to the next car 60ft away. The young angry man jogged after me and again was demanding that I take the ticket back because he was not there that long. I showed him where the computer calculated to the second, how long he was there. In an explosion of expletives he tried to rip up the plastic like ticket. Of course he was unable to and finally threw it on the ground. I then wished him to have a better day and moved on.

I am not heartless..

..but I am concerned when you use your mother, uncle, father, aunt, son, daughter, wife, husband and or the hot neighbor as an excuse for not feeding the meter. I understand that we are at/near a hospital and the above excuses are very sick and or near death(Never are they just in for a blood test, cast, discharge etc..) I am not sure if your mother, uncle, father, monkey, goldfish or hamster would approve of you using them as an excuse. I understand that you chose not to use the FREE parking garages that are closer to the hospital/clinic and that you preferred to park a block or two away.

If your (reread the above scapegoats) were really sick and or near death, you have my appreciation that you were more concerned about me issuing you a ticket, than you not leaving their side and keeping them in comfort.

Whateva..

I gave you a ticket because...

While I was out on my assigned beat today...

I issued a ticket to a vehicle today, license plate infraction if you must know. (You don't need to know but I will play along) I was down at the other end of the street and then turned around and headed back to the vehicle I issued the ticket to. At that same time the owner came up to his vehicle and noticed his citation in the door. I calmly rolled down my window and told him what the citation was for. He said he thought it was for being too far from the curb and that he is going to adjust his vehicle because he didn't like its position. (I am so diggin' this citizen) Side note: Earlier when I cited him I noticed he had a license plate holder/frame indicating his favorite team. Hell, even his license plate indicated what team he was a sap for. So... I had a little fun with him. "Sir," I said, "The citation is also for being a fan of (insert crappy team here)." He pointed at me with, get this, a finger that is not associated with a feathery animal and said, "Good One."
Despite the ticket I gave him, I think I made a friend. He left me with an impression that there is still hope for humanity. At least until tomorrow.