"Did I throw my cell phone at you?"

So I issued a citation to a vehicle and later the citizen found me. (Not at all hard since I was working in a small neighborhood..with bright flashing lights on my vehicle) Anyway she came up to me and I explained what the ticket was for. In between the expletives, I did recognize the words..and, the, you are, and go to. She finally went back to her vehicle, out of breath and out of short descriptive sentences. I would say..hmmm..about 10 minutes had past and I see the same woman, in her car, in my rear view mirror. Of course this is where I have a little fun. I drove around for 5 minutes with complete randomness. I finally pulled over. She came up to me window, cracked open 6 inches, and she started to apologize. After her apology, she asked one question, "Did I throw my cell phone at you?" I paused, trying not to laugh..at least..on the outside. I then said, "I did not hear anything hitting my vehicle."

How can someone be so angry, in a span of no more than 10 minutes, and forget if they did or did not throw their cell phone at me? The world may never know such minor things.

Wheelbarrow Violence

Due to the increased violence committed by wheelbarrows in my city, the police have begun locking them up.

Just another random picture while I am work as an "effin meter maid."

Street Sweeping...

The other day I was on my Street Sweeping route and had come to a delay at a Stop sign. I was going what the Fu.. is the hold up? The school bus was just sitting there and it must have been 3-4 minutes. (it seemed) And then I saw the delay. These two elderly people were crossing the street. Obviously I had to grab a picture.

So Take Me To Court!

So, last month I wrote a ticket during street sweeping. Street sweeping: You can't park on one side of the street, one day a month, April thru November, 8am to 5pm. So on this one day, on one side of the street a citizen obviously was mad. I never saw the gentleman. But he did go to the magistrate to have the tickets canceled. I am paraphrasing the notes here:

Citizen: Cancel my street sweeping ticket, I have a pass

Magistrate: (looks up his pass) You pass is no longer valid at your location. Besides, passes dont work during street sweeping.

Citizen: Cancel my ticket because I cant get up at 8am and move my car. (Magistrate did not leave a note whether they told him he had a whole month to move his car prior to his specific sweep day)

Magistrate:Offered ticket cost reduction. Citizen wants to have a final hearing.

So I get my summons to go to court. When it was my turn to be called before the traffic judge with the citizen, the judge asks him if he was ready. He said he wanted to make a statement on why he shouldn't pay for the ticket. The judge says that she will listen to him while he or I am on the stand. But not before we are all sworn in. She again asked if he wanted to have his final hearing or he could plead guilty. And then she said he will hear his statement. He plead guilty before I was even sworn in. The judge says "Thank You Officer, you may be excused."

Original citation amount: $25
Magistrates reduction he turned down: $20
Citation + late fee+ court fees=$71
Lesson learned: unknown

Break Time

Us "effin meter maids" take breaks like normal people. We eat and sleep like normal people. We don't all practice Mayan blood sacrifices, pray to pagan gods and or worship the devil. As we are traveling through the neighborhoods inciting fear and hate, we stop for a break or two. On one such warm almost spring day, I found a Lemonade Stand. A perfect spot and a wonderful host.

Cash only.

Mother And Son, Colfax.

During my daily travels, enforcement area's, I get to meet and or see some very nice people. As I was heading back to the office after a day of plundering the citizen's of my fair city, I saw these two very nice people. I asked them to smile. The son said, "I would if I had any teeth." I laughed aloud and took the picture.

Street Sweeping And Yoda

In my fair city, Street Sweeping is a necessary evil. It needs to be done and tickets are plentiful. On certain days of the week, beginning in April, us "effin meter maids" write tickets where cars are parked on the sweeping routes. It runs April through November every year. The signs are permanent so you know in advance, if you read, can read, willing to read, watch the news, listen to the local radio stations.
On some of the routes the citizens will warn others not to park on the designated side of the street to be swept. And sometimes citizens who are practicing "The Force" enlist Master Jedi's to help.

Jedi mind tricks have no effect on me.